L'azur

在电话里我听到了《失败者的飞翔》和《灵感》。这倒更像专属的现场演出，而不必站在上千尖叫的人中间。也听到了大声的我爱你和安可。开始我在公车上，后来回家睡了，演出都还没结束。如果周五有足够的疯狂，也许现在正兴奋地在淮海路上游荡。当这种回忆越发清晰几乎要成为现实的时候，丢掉手中一切飞奔而去的时候也就近了。我还能理智多久。

这里人少，就让我肆无忌惮一下。

我也无意把腿撇得像两根萝卜。去年八月留下的伤疤终于在慢慢变淡了。

表象陈述的背后是一个穷忙的小人儿。无论怎样努力仍然很多挫败感。

再度迷失。

只是忙了一晚后过来拷一些文件，看见文件夹里你藏着的那些聊天时用过的表情。

很多调皮的笑脸。在心里跳来跳去跳来跳去。

于是想你了。

每天七点半准时下班，天都还亮着。去公司对面的马路边乘坐高峰期的公共汽车，二十分钟后再过条马路就可以到家。

每天中午一个人去公司附近的百盛四楼吃午餐。那里像一座大食堂。独自霸占窗边的四人座位，窗外揽秀园里仍然有积雪。到处还是冬天的模样，只是温度在渐渐爬升了。

每天九点不到要强迫自己起床，九点四十出门的话就一定要打车。办公室里有人爱抽烟。我吸了很多二手烟。

每天晚上打开淘宝页面，想着店子里还能再折腾点什么新花样。

每天很安静，只跟同事说说过去在上海的生活，跟妈妈说说今天店里有生意或是没生意。

有时就关起门来做本子，或是拍照。有时听宇多田光的歌，或是萧亚轩。

咖啡许久不碰了。有情调的餐厅在哪里也都忘记了。

我给自己的生活做减法。减到什么都不剩的时候，终于简单得让自己也觉得不适应。

如果你有朋友可以小聚，品味美食，看一场不知所云的展览，听一场期待已久的演唱会，请不要羡慕我，也不要对我说话，不要对我哭诉，不要对我抱怨。

那些过去向往的生活，得到过，又失去了。不能觉得可惜。现在的状态，是在之前埋下的种子。

再也不用写稿卖字。而是变成一个淘东西做买卖独来独往自娱自乐的小商人。愿意不愿意，都只能这样。

Come back to me 
singer：Hikaru Utada

The rain falls on my windows
and a coldness runs through my soul 
and the rain falls  
and the rain falls 
I don't want to be alone

I wish that I could photoshop on our bad memories
Cuz the flash backs
oh the flashbacks won't leave me alone
If you come back to me I'll be all that you need
baby come back to me
let me make up for what happened, and

Come back, baby come back to me 
Come back, I'll be everything you need
Come back, baby come back to me 
Come back, for you're one in a million

On the bayside of Manhatten she goes shopping for new clothes 
And she buys this, and she buys that
just leave her alone 
I wish that he would listen to her side of the story
It isn't that bad, it isn't that bad
and she's wiser for it now

I admit I cheated(admit I cheated) 
Don't know why I did it(why I did it) 
But I do regret it(regret it)
And nothing I can do or say can change it
Come back, baby come back to me

Everything I ever did
heaven knows I'm sorry but
I was too fantastie
you were always there for me
and my curiosity got the better of me
baby take it easy on me

Anyhting from A to Z
tell me what you want to be
I open my heart to me
you were my priority

can't you see you punished me
more than enough fority
Baby take it easy on me
Baby take it easy on me

Come back, baby come back to me 
Come back, I'll be everything you need
Come back, baby come back to me 
Come back, for you're one in a million